First time ever, a review of a movie. Or rather, a couple movies. Which can be interpolated to represent all of the movies which are SyFy Original Movies.
(posted previously on Tribe)
I’m just unbelievably disappointed in them. The name change…well, you try not to pre-judge, right? But it’s just shite.
Today when I got home, Djin had the tv tuned to the last half hour or so of the SyFy Original Movie about ice twisters. It was such a blatant ripoff of Twister, it wasn’t even funny. What *was* funny is that I’d tried to watch it before, and about 4 minutes into it I realized what a ripoff it was and changed it. Then today when I came in, it took 5 seconds to recognize it because the scene was another direct ripoff of Twister. And sadly, I’ve only seen Twister once, years ago, and wasn’t really paying much attention to it. I just wanted to see the flying cow. Anyway, they plugged in some questionable technology and last minute saving of my the city I was born in, and it was over. I must say that I L O L d big time when the one guy died of hail. I mean, ever hear of running when the hailballs hit your damn head? dur? Instead it was like a scene from Godzilla or something, standing with his hands up over his face, screaming like a ninny. I’m glad you died, idiot.
Ok so after ice twister got over, it was a movie about colliders colliding or something. It was a mess of magical energy-producing colliders, terrorists, computery hacking, bad accents and vague locations. I should have stopped at the beginning when Marina Sirtis was trying to have a southern-bitch accent and half the rest of them couldn’t decide which accent they were supposed to have. Then they were in france, then…um, don’t remember. anyway. stupid. stupid stupid stupid.
oh and a black hole. That’s what happens when you turn off all the other colliders and they can’t contain the bad colliders anymore.
The good news: The world did end, and with a bang, not a whimper. Whole damn planet exploded because dumbass listened to the faux-belle instead of his friend who he’d trusted for eons.
Urgh. Not even in the “greasy fried noodle” category. More like in the “mom put the stale off-brand cheezits into a used zip loc that I think used to hold grandpa’s suppositories”.