July 26, 2013

Girly stuff

Filed under: Boring Personal Stuff — Etakeh @ 4:09 pm

While researching birth control methods, I found that people love horror stories.  LOVE them.  My IUD punctured my lung!  I got pregnant with sasquatch’s baby on the pill!  Depo made me grow a penis!

So I thought I’d chime in.  My IUD didn’t cause me any problems whatsoever!  OHEMGEE.

No, really.  I got an IUD about…15 years ago, the first time.  I took a break, got pregnant, got another IUD.  I’m towards the end of year 7, no problems.  Of course, I also didn’t get the benefit that some women do of lighter/non-existent periods, but they didn’t get worse either.

Now I’ve been researching permanent forms of BC.  I decided on the Essure procedure.  Because of how simple it is, how cheap it is, and how effective it is.  Look it up – it has a higher success rate than getting your tubes tied.

I started the process by making an appointment with the doc at my regular office.  Not my regular OB/GYN, because she’s not trained in this procedure, but another guy.  Yep, a guy.

Aside: I always wonder what makes a guy decide to become a gynecologist.  Especially when they aren’t toads.  The guy I saw in Portland had a practice with his son. Can you imagine talks around the dinner table?

So this guy and I have a chat.  He explains it all to me, most of which I knew due to my research, but some that I didn’t.  Such as the need to “mow the golf course”.  At first I thought he was talking about, you know, shaving.  But it was really about thinning the lining of the uterus to make it possible to find the entryway to the Fallopian tubes.  Dude really needs a better analogy.

Anyway, a shot of Depo is the usual way of doing this.  But I’ve got a funky blood thing going on, that may or may not cause clotting with hormones, so he opted for a different method – Aromatase inhibitors.  In this case, Letrozole. I take it for 5 days prior to the procedure.  And remember that IUD?  I keep that until the day of, hoping that it will contribute to the cause.

I was prescribed 3 other medications as well.  Valium was offered, apparently some chicks are that uptight about it. But I declined.  Sort of wishing I hadn’t, never had Valium before.

Two of the prescriptions are painkillers.  Oxycodone and 600ml ibuprofen.  I take the oxycodone before I go in for the procedure, just to get the ball rolling.

The last prescription is for an antibiotic.  This is just a safe-guard, because you know he’s sticking things inside my body and stuff.

So now I wait until the 5th day before, and start the Letrozole.  Then the day before, start the antibiotic.  Then the morning of, the oxycodone.  Then, if I’m remembering what he said correctly, they’ll give me a shot in the ass of a general kind of painkiller, and (as he put it), “the worst part of your day”, two shots of lidocaine in the vagina.

Yeah, not looking forward to that.


So I’ll update when the time comes.  August 7th.  Or maybe the 8th, depending on what else they give me.  And how badly my vagina hurts.

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