August 7, 2013

T Minus One Hour

Filed under: Boring Personal Stuff — Etakeh @ 10:38 am

I’m going in for the Essure procedure this morning.

I’ve been taking my pills on schedule, like a good girl.  5 days of Letrozole, 3 days of Doxycycline, then the Oxycodone this morning.  About 24 minutes ago, as of this writing.   I’m not sure how it will effect me, but I’ve got a ride in to the doc’s office, just in case.

It’s been a strange week, really.  I hadn’t thought it would be such a big deal.  I’m done having kids, and although I’m not running around like a floozy, I still like the idea of not having to worry about it anymore.

And there’s another, more personal reason – I’m hoping that this will give me some kind of “closure” (oh, how I hate that word) on the loss of my baby 6 years ago.  That situation was part of the reason I decided not to try again – it would have been unbelievably stressful, and would have involved heparin shots for the last three months of the pregnancy.  It’s just too much.  And really, I have no right to have another kid – the one I have is amazing, and my financial situation doesn’t really allow for an infant, let alone the cost of the treatments just to make sure it came out ok.

So no, no more babies.  I’m ok with that.  Logically.  But apparently, there is another level under there.  One that is freaking out pretty well.  I’m getting cold sores and hives – both sure signs of stress for me.  I actually almost bonded with my sister – not a normal thing for us, let me tell you.  We are so different that it’s often hard to find anything in common that isn’t involving our horrible shared childhood.

But as I sit here, 32 minutes after taking the Oxycodone (yeah, I think I’m starting to feel it), I do know it’s the right thing.  I’m not exactly looking forward to the procedure, of course, but I think it’s a good thing.  A very good thing.

So, before my hands turn to noodles, I’ll sign off and get ready to go.  Doc said we’d be done in a couple hours, so I should be home and done before 2pm.  Then I can spend the rest of my day in a lovely melty daze, right?

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