August 15, 2013

Free-Floating Anxiety

Filed under: Boring Personal Stuff — Etakeh @ 3:12 pm


Since I went in to the doc last week, I’ve been experiencing what I can only describe as “free-floating anxiety”.  It’s not something I’m used to, or at least not for such an extended period of time.

It’s almost a physical sensation – like I’m a little tense and that sort of fluttery lump in the pit of my stomach is always there.  I’m familiar with the short-term variety, when something big is about to happen or I’m really worried about something, but there is no real cause to this and nothing seems to make it better – or worse, for that matter.

Nothing has changed.  No new medications, no huge life changes (other than the one that didn’t happen), so I’m not sure what the deal is.

I go in to see my girly doc in November, but that’s a long time to go feeling so weird.  Not sure what to do about it.  Especially since my daily Happy Pill (citalopram) is supposed to aid in anxiety, but doesn’t seem to be.  Or if it is, not enough.  Ugh.


August 7, 2013

My Essure experience.

Filed under: Boring Personal Stuff — Etakeh @ 1:40 pm

So, in the end, I wasn’t able to get the actual Essure device inserted.  This was not from lack of trying – Dr. Gill was awesome, “bomb-diggety”, in his words.  But thanks to a funky-shaped uterus and obstinate Fallopian tubes, it just wasn’t going to happen.

But I can share with you the procedure for the procedure.  It was really not so bad.   This is what I wrote while I was in the exam room, where the procedure occurs.

So I’m in the room.

Wasn’t able to pee in a cup, which they do to make sure that you aren’t pregnant.  Because that would be bad.

Then to the room. Bent over the table, got my shot in the ass. No biggie. I didn’t think they did that anymore, but the nurse said that they never turn down an opportunity for a butt-shot. I like her, she’s got a good sense of humor.

Then Dr. Gill came in, made sure I didn’t have any last minute concerns or questions. I didn’t, I’ve done my research and he was great about explaining it all at the earlier consult.

So he and the  nurse left so I could strip from the waste down (funny how it’s OK for him to be up-close and personal with my vagina, but I can’t take my pants off in front of him).  Can back in, got me into position for removing the IUD, and got to work.

He removed the IUD with no problem, then came the fun part. Two shots in the ligaments of the vagina.

It was a little weird, a little painful. But not really too bad. Not something I’m going to stand in line for…but not even as bad as the shots I got when they fixed my front teeth at the dentist.  The shots con tailed epinephrine and lidocaine.

So now I’m waiting for the shots to “set up”, so to speak. They said 10 to 15 minutes, then we can get right to it. They dilate me a bit put in the camera and a couple minutes later, we’re done.

Whoo. Better stop moving my head so quickly. A bit on the woozy side. Going to put this down now.

So that’s how that went.  And then the doc came in, and two assistants.  The set up the equipment, turned on the monitor, and got to work.  It was really fascinating, watching the progress through the uterus and the search for the tube entryways.  They used water to sort of “inflate” the uterus to make it easier to see inside.

Due to the odd shape of my uterus, it was a little difficult to find the tube entries to start with, and one was a little tucked in behind some fluffy tissue.  He used a more technical term, but I don’t remember it.  I was pretty floopy.

A second doc was called in to help with that hiding tube entry, but it was found and the Essure “injector” was inserted.  That’s when the problems started.

The idea is that the Essure device is like a little compressed spring, and when it’s inserted to the proper depth, they “deploy” it and it expands inside the tube.  If it’s not inserted to that depth, it will just spring out into the uterus and not really do any good.

The device was able to be inserted partially, but then started bending before it actually reached the optimum depth.  Dr. Gill tried multiple methods, multiple tools, all to no avail.  It just wasn’t going to happen.

So, in the end it could be considered a waste of time, but I did get through most of the prep, and it wasn’t so bad.  We were all pretty disappointed, probably Dr. Gill more than I am even.  But it wasn’t the fault of the doc. As he said, “Mother Nature is giving us the finger.”

T Minus One Hour

Filed under: Boring Personal Stuff — Etakeh @ 10:38 am

I’m going in for the Essure procedure this morning.

I’ve been taking my pills on schedule, like a good girl.  5 days of Letrozole, 3 days of Doxycycline, then the Oxycodone this morning.  About 24 minutes ago, as of this writing.   I’m not sure how it will effect me, but I’ve got a ride in to the doc’s office, just in case.

It’s been a strange week, really.  I hadn’t thought it would be such a big deal.  I’m done having kids, and although I’m not running around like a floozy, I still like the idea of not having to worry about it anymore.

And there’s another, more personal reason – I’m hoping that this will give me some kind of “closure” (oh, how I hate that word) on the loss of my baby 6 years ago.  That situation was part of the reason I decided not to try again – it would have been unbelievably stressful, and would have involved heparin shots for the last three months of the pregnancy.  It’s just too much.  And really, I have no right to have another kid – the one I have is amazing, and my financial situation doesn’t really allow for an infant, let alone the cost of the treatments just to make sure it came out ok.

So no, no more babies.  I’m ok with that.  Logically.  But apparently, there is another level under there.  One that is freaking out pretty well.  I’m getting cold sores and hives – both sure signs of stress for me.  I actually almost bonded with my sister – not a normal thing for us, let me tell you.  We are so different that it’s often hard to find anything in common that isn’t involving our horrible shared childhood.

But as I sit here, 32 minutes after taking the Oxycodone (yeah, I think I’m starting to feel it), I do know it’s the right thing.  I’m not exactly looking forward to the procedure, of course, but I think it’s a good thing.  A very good thing.

So, before my hands turn to noodles, I’ll sign off and get ready to go.  Doc said we’d be done in a couple hours, so I should be home and done before 2pm.  Then I can spend the rest of my day in a lovely melty daze, right?

July 28, 2013

It’s A Love Story. Springfield Style.

Filed under: Random — Etakeh @ 10:08 pm

We decided to run to a nearby taco place for dinner, and while in the parking lot I noticed a sort of…flow to the other businesses.

It started at the Westend Tavern.  Their eyes met across the crowded bar, and they knew (after a few shots and some nachos) that it was meant to be.


He decided that the best way to prove his undying love would be to run next door for a tattoo of her name…no, her FACE, emblazoned across his chest.


Of course, being a Springfieldian, she was of course enchanted.  After a brief make-out session in the back of his Pinto, they set the date, and the preparations began.

First stop, flowers!  Oh, it’s hydroponics?  What the hell is that, even?  Oh well.  Give me a bouquet of pot leaves, that’ll do.


Next stop, the beauty shop!  Gotta get those roots touched up, extensions adjusted and how about some color-blocking ala “Sons of Anarchy” hottie Gemma.  And let’s get a trim for that mullet, boyo!  You’re looking like a hippie!


They were getting a little impatient to consummate their undying love, and love was on their side this day.  A zodiac wedding chapel?  OMG you’re a Sagittarius?  I’m an Aries!  OHEMGEE!

And they do vehicle lettering and LED signing – does that mean a big, bright JEST MARIED sign on the back of the Pinto?  I think it does!


Now for the reception…perfect!  Food, drink and video gambling!   Get the DJ from the wedding place and call the folks, we got us a shindig!


But really, all that tequila from Westend (see above) is starting to take its toll.  Fortunately, the Bistro has that covered.  Hair of the dog, and hangover cures!


Well, I think we all know how this story ends.  A long, happy life together…oh, did she mention Tommy, the crazy ex…and Brenda, his baby mama?  Kids?  You never said you had kids!  Well I was gunna, soon as you explain what Tommy’s saying about your daddy-brother!


The End.

July 26, 2013

Girly stuff

Filed under: Boring Personal Stuff — Etakeh @ 4:09 pm

While researching birth control methods, I found that people love horror stories.  LOVE them.  My IUD punctured my lung!  I got pregnant with sasquatch’s baby on the pill!  Depo made me grow a penis!

So I thought I’d chime in.  My IUD didn’t cause me any problems whatsoever!  OHEMGEE.

No, really.  I got an IUD about…15 years ago, the first time.  I took a break, got pregnant, got another IUD.  I’m towards the end of year 7, no problems.  Of course, I also didn’t get the benefit that some women do of lighter/non-existent periods, but they didn’t get worse either.

Now I’ve been researching permanent forms of BC.  I decided on the Essure procedure.  Because of how simple it is, how cheap it is, and how effective it is.  Look it up – it has a higher success rate than getting your tubes tied.

I started the process by making an appointment with the doc at my regular office.  Not my regular OB/GYN, because she’s not trained in this procedure, but another guy.  Yep, a guy.

Aside: I always wonder what makes a guy decide to become a gynecologist.  Especially when they aren’t toads.  The guy I saw in Portland had a practice with his son. Can you imagine talks around the dinner table?

So this guy and I have a chat.  He explains it all to me, most of which I knew due to my research, but some that I didn’t.  Such as the need to “mow the golf course”.  At first I thought he was talking about, you know, shaving.  But it was really about thinning the lining of the uterus to make it possible to find the entryway to the Fallopian tubes.  Dude really needs a better analogy.

Anyway, a shot of Depo is the usual way of doing this.  But I’ve got a funky blood thing going on, that may or may not cause clotting with hormones, so he opted for a different method – Aromatase inhibitors.  In this case, Letrozole. I take it for 5 days prior to the procedure.  And remember that IUD?  I keep that until the day of, hoping that it will contribute to the cause.

I was prescribed 3 other medications as well.  Valium was offered, apparently some chicks are that uptight about it. But I declined.  Sort of wishing I hadn’t, never had Valium before.

Two of the prescriptions are painkillers.  Oxycodone and 600ml ibuprofen.  I take the oxycodone before I go in for the procedure, just to get the ball rolling.

The last prescription is for an antibiotic.  This is just a safe-guard, because you know he’s sticking things inside my body and stuff.

So now I wait until the 5th day before, and start the Letrozole.  Then the day before, start the antibiotic.  Then the morning of, the oxycodone.  Then, if I’m remembering what he said correctly, they’ll give me a shot in the ass of a general kind of painkiller, and (as he put it), “the worst part of your day”, two shots of lidocaine in the vagina.

Yeah, not looking forward to that.


So I’ll update when the time comes.  August 7th.  Or maybe the 8th, depending on what else they give me.  And how badly my vagina hurts.

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